All Rileyed Up

I was tagged for this meme by Diapers and Dragons - 13 signs that you are a mom.

You know you’re a mom when…

1. You no longer think it’s irritating that people show off pictures of their kids. (Look! Look! They’re so cute, aren’t they!)

2. You bring a camera with you to take pictures of someone getting their hair cut. (Smile for mommy! Smile! Yes! That was perfect, could you cut his bangs again?)

3. You give your friends the arched eyebrow for cussing. (Dude, would you mind not talking like that when my kids are around?)

4. You start to sympathize with Halle Berry’s character in Losing Isaiah.

5. People assume you watch Oprah.

6. You know that mops are more than just a cleaning supply.

7. The phrase “I couldn’t get a babysitter” and “I just don’t want to pay for a babysitter” no longer sound like lame excuses.

8. A night out is a bottle of wine and reheated leftovers after the kids are in bed.

9. You suddenly develop a fear of hard candy, marbles, electric outlets, and cabinets without safety locks. (or is that just me and my paranoia?)

10. Your precious dog that you used to walk all the time and feed only the finest butcher cut steak is suddenly “We need to pick up Ol Roy for that dog tearing up the couch.”

Ol Roy? Oh, heeeeeeell no.

11. As you think back to the playgrounds of your youth, you CAN’T BELIEVE your parents let you play on those life-threatening things (The wooden swings with splinters? The hot metal slide that seared your flesh? Anyone?) AND without supervision!

12. Airplane rides. Whole new experience.

13. You know perfectly well that five minutes of silence is not a reason to relax.

Read other lists of thirteen here.

This should have gone up on November 6, but I forgot. My bad. I’m going ahead and posting it late because it’s never too late to stand up for world peace. You can see who else participated over here.

And incidentally, the title of this post immediately brings me back to the days of church choir, singing, “Do-o-na! No-o-bis! Pa-a-cem, Pacem…”

Mary of Life, the Universe, and Everything tagged me for a meme and I was all excited. Yea, a meme! No one ever tags me for a meme! Now it’s like a month later and I realize why no one ever tags me for a meme.

So.

The task is simple: think back on the last 15 years of your life. What would you tell someone that you hadn’t seen or talked to for 15 years? How would you sum up your life? You get 10 bullet points. A list of 10 things to summarize about you.

This is quite similar to the bios I was reading in my husband’s high school reunion pamphlet last month. Some dude actually included a picture of himself shirtless while driving a boat. I totally lambasted him before realizing he was sitting at my table. Oops. Didn’t recognize him with his shirt on.

Ahem. Back to me. Ten things I did from age 16 to 31.

1. Let’s start at 16 then? I developed a crush on a guy who worked with me at Blockbuster Video (actually, he worked at a different BBV, but he always stopped by mine because he was roommates with my boss). I flirted with him incessantly and one day he asked if I wanted to go to the Jesus and Mary Chain concert with him and his friends and gave me his phone number. I chickened out and never called him. Assume I did that a lot through bullet point 5.
2. Age 18. (I’ve told you guys this before, but here we go again) I went on a trip to France to celebrate the freedom and independence that comes with graduating from high school. I started off on the Bretagne coast and then went to a small town in Northern France with a friend. I bowled in Belgium. I went kayaking and was the 1500th customer at the kayaking place and they gave me a bunch of prizes and my picture was in two local papers, Un American En Canoe! Small French towns rock!
3. Still 18. I moved to New Orleans.
4. Ages 18-22. I don’t remember too clearly what happened in New Orleans. But crawfish was involved. And parades with flying cabbage. A couple police officers at an inopportune moment. And a Latin professor at a really inopportune moment.
5. Age 22. I moved to California. I rented a bedroom from a man I found through the Penny Saver who coached junior high girls volleyball.
6. Age 23. I won the Halloween costume contest at Gateway Computers by convincing the rest of my team to dress up with me as the Village People. This was a key moment worth bringing up because it told me I don’t belong in a corporation.
7. Age 23-25. Husband and I bought and tended a 150-tree apple orchard. The eating of many tasty apples and apple treats ensued.
8. Age 25. I got pregnant and had a baby.
Diapers and sleepless nights, along with 2 major house moves followed.
And then…
9. Age 27. I got pregnant (again) and had a baby (again).
Diapers and sleepless nights (again), along with 2 major house moves (again).
And then…
10. I wrote a novel.

Tag yourself. I don’t want to put that pressure on anyone.

Veronica at Toddled Dredge tagged me for a meme that involves a serious amount of self-gratification, and the only thing I can say is, baby, I’m all about that. I am to list my favorite posts in the categories listed below. These are posts not written by other bloggers, but by–as Miss Piggy would say–moi.

Here goes.

Friends – Here’s a lovely conversation between me and my two best friends, Brassy and Lawyer Girls. Nietzsche, merkins. Good clean fun.

Family – Grandmas and Grandpas, and marital bliss.

Me – 25 things about me. My ability to piss off the AT&T people.

Something I love – Drinking, Narnia, and Middle Earth. All in one post.

Wild card – The ever-popular Christmas newsletter post. The first time you met my dogs. Wine tasting.

I end with a tag: Angel. Big shout out to Angel for awarding me a Perfect Post the other day for this post . Thanks Angel!

Posts I started and didn’t complete this week–

The “Mild” Day
My daughter is not “mildly” deaf, but came close to it. My daughter is not “mildly” autistic, but came close to it. Everyone wants to “keep an eye on her.” My husband is “mildly” stressed because his work had a not-so-“mild” layoff. Just imagine getting all that information in one day.

An Upcoming Playdate
I now have a surfing friend, and we’re going out next Friday morning. Hopefully, the waves will be mild (you keep on using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means), because she used to be a professional surfer and I can’t bear to make a fool of myself in front of her.

A Message From My Bare Hands
I took home a cheese plate from Bunco Night because they were going to throw it all away and I can’t stand wastefulness, especially when concerning matters of cheese. So I put the Brie and Gouda in the same plastic bag and the next day I was trying to pull the Brie out and ripped the baggie apart. Not at the seam along the bottom, not at the top where it opens and closes, but straight through the middle. I have no idea how I did this. I transferred said cheeses to a plastic container and when I put the lid on, I put too much pressure on it and cracked the entire lid in half. So, either I don’t know my own strength, or the cheese is trying to tell me that it should be eaten immediately and not stored. Or, I buy shoddy food storage supplies.

Breakfast of Champions
For The Boy: papaya with cashew nut butter dip (which is cashew nut butter and applesauce blended together)
For Little No Limit: vegan pancake with real maple syrup
For Me: Fritos and Coke (in secret, of course)

I Really Am A Geek
A while back, I lamented an attempt at romance on my date with Husband. A few nights ago, the kids went to bed early, so he and I went outside, drank some wine, had some nice conversation, and when we came back inside, it was clear he thought the amorous evening would continue, but I had different plans: “I’m kind of in the mood to watch Return of the Jedi.” Oh yes.

A Time For Backflips!
Voltron is in the works to be a movie. Read here (thanks to Toddled Dredge for notifying me)

A Time For Backflips, Part Deux
Okay, the first post was exciting enough in and of itself. The second post would have been to determine who will be cast in the movie, the storyline, etc. Message to the director: Can I PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE be Princess Allura?

I could be blond. Honestly.

Memes
Got tagged by a few people. The Weirdgirl tagged me for 8 things, hence this post, and Riley Central and Whee! All The Way Home both tagged me for that advice on blogging meme that’s been going around. You can check out their blogs for all the wonderful advice, and while you’re at it, read some of their stuff.

Time for more Fritos and Coke. Peace out.