All Rileyed Up

Some thoughts that at the moment:

Little No Limit drew a cat on the leather couch with a ball point pen, then told me her stuffed animal cat, Fuzzy, was the guilty party.

The Boy’s eczema looks like it might be infected again. I am so sick of this!!!!!!! I do not want to use antibiotics again, because, really, his GI system can only take so many. Even with his taking probiotics.

Fuzzy is at it again. He is burping from two rooms away. No one in the room with me is burping.

My friend is pregnant for the first time and asked me what I did for the heartburn.

Fuzzy glued a piece of a paper to the table. Little No Limit saw to it that Fuzzy was reprimanded for his behaviors. She put him in a time out.

The Boy’s IEP to discuss the change over to General Ed is coming up.

My friend wants to know if I have any ideas for an upcoming mom’s night out.

Where is Fuzzy? I gotta keep an eye on that cat.

**

Sound familiar?

I could fill up an encyclopedia with things that run through moms’ minds, from how to ease eczema to what parents’ rights are in an IEP. And thanks to the wonder of the Internet, I don’t need to do the dirty work. Mamapedia has already done it for me.

Mamapedia is website resource for moms to help other moms. Got a problem? Enter it. Got an answer? Offer it. You never know who you might be helping, and you might be pleasantly surprised to find answers to the elusive questions that bog you down, such as how to get ink off of leather.

Now if someone could just tell me how to control that out-of-control Fuzzy.

Please step away from the ball point pen…

*Thanks to MomCentral for the information.

If you’re like me, then you grew up thinking that the ice cream man was nothing short of THE MOST AMAZING PERSON ON EARTH.

However.

If you’re like me, then you are also aware of the damage to one’s bottom that too much ice cream can have. Case in point, my sister took this photo of me the other day:

Paging Sir Mix-a-Lot.

She took the picture because she thought it was cute that I was giving my son a piggy back ride. I looked at it and thought, um, okay… no more ice cream for me.

Conveniently, I received two coupons from Skinny Cow Ice Cream (courtesy of Mom Central) to sample their low-fat ice cream treats. They’re made with skim milk, hence the lower calories and fat content. My sister begrudgingly joined in with the taste-testing. And by begrudgingly, I mean not at all against her will.

So how did the taste test go? Well, you can tell Skinny Cow is using skim milk and not cream, but as Ron Burgundy once said, “And in no way is that depressing.”

Imagine your upcoming hot summer days. You’re sweating. The kids are red-faced and worn out from a day at the park or pool. You open the freezer and pull out the chocolate sandwich with vanilla ice cream treats and everyone cheers. You eat them outside. Your mouth instantly cools. Vanilla runs down your fingers and you feel them getting stickier by the second. Bits of the chocolate sandwich stick to your fingers tips and you pull them over the tops of your teeth to get those last bits of chocolate. Choose one of the following endings:

a) And then you get on the weight scale the following morning and think to yourself, why did I eat that ice cream sandwich?
b) And then you go about the rest of your day and the next morning repeat it all again, feeling very great about yourself.

If you answered B, you either have great self-confidence, a great exercise regimen, and you were eating Skinny Cow.

So go ahead, give Skinny Cow a chance (and, of course, great self-confidence and exercise regimens too).

This past Thursday, I attended my first ever Lake Elsinore Storm game. Those of you who are unfamiliar with the glorious fun that is minor league baseball, I strongly urge you to find the nearest stadium and attend. I’ve been to my share of major and minor league games, and while I do like the monkey dance after the eighth inning during Angels games, minor league ball offers something major league games never do. Beer for a dollar. And Star Trek:

I also prefer the whole compact-ness of minor league games. There is no such thing as a nosebleed section at a minor league game. There are no crowds nor the need to leave early to miss the parking lot traffic. True, there are no big name players, but there are fantastically named players:

Because it was Star Trek night, there was also a fabulous reenactment of the green woman seducing Capt Kirk, performed by none other than the Lake Elsinore Storm mascot, Thunderdog, and one [very lucky] Star Trek T-clad employee:

Alas, I didn’t whip out my camera in time to photograph the Baskin-Robbins cup of ice cream that danced on the field, then tripped and couldn’t get back up nor did I ask anyone to photograph myself and Little No Limit participating in the scream-the-loudest-and-win-a-pizza contest (I protest our loss - nobody is louder than me at a ball game, dude, NOBODY!).

The game was so fun, I was sick the next day (always a sure sign of an entertaining night) and cannot currently hear out of either of my ears (serious congestion over here, folks). Unfortunately, as a result of being sick, I had to miss out on attending the Padres-Cubs game I was supposed to attend last night. According to my sister, this is what I missed:

*an old man starting a fight with some younger guys behind him about where the old man’s wife could walk
*the younger guys spitting on the old man, because they didn’t like him for starting a fight with them
*a random old man interfering and accusing the younger guys of picking on old men
*the random old man’s daughter trying to pull her father away
*some combination of these people getting escorted out of the stadium and one of them shooting the bird at the others while yelling threats
*a group of pub crawlers getting escorted from the stadium

While I don’t deny that the above has all the points of an entertaining blog post (the story just isn’t as much fun when told secondhand, you know?), I’m glad I took my kids to the more family friendly Storm game. Really, if that was the behavior at the major league game with full price beer, imagine if it had only cost a dollar…

Whee! Stadium seats! Yay! Cotton candy!

Today, I am sick.

I’ve lived most of my life without allergies, but this past year has been one big long sneeze. Is it something in the air? Based on some things I’ve been reading, many signs point to yes.

According to Dr. Neil Schachter on the 3M Filtrete website, these are ways to make the air in my home as clean as can be:

1. Avoid cleaning products with ammonia and chlorine – check. Although perhaps yesterday’s swimming excursion wasn’t a good idea after all.

2. Houseplants… a clean air ally – I suspect my fake plants don’t count.

3. Lay area rugs instead of wall-to-wall carpeting – Now this one I am good with. No carpeted surfaces on the house. Did wonders for The Boy’s skin.

4. Restrict your furry friends – the dogs were finally banished to dog beds on the floor, but their shedding hair certainly doesn’t help.

5. Turn up the air conditioning (reduces humidity) and turn off the humidifier – Um, no AC. But it’s not too humid here, so I guess it’s all good. Oddly, I grew up in a very humid climate, and it never gave me allergies.

6. Leave shoes outside – Oh, I am so bad at this one. It’s terrible. I’d love to be one of those people who maintain a socks-only house, but find it pretty darn difficult and somewhat inconvenient, not to mention there’s nothing I can do to stop the dogs, who are the worst dirt-dragger-inners of all…

7. Use high performance air filters – seeing as this information is coming from the 3M Filtrete website, they recommend the Filtrete 1” Advanced Allergen Filter from 3M – and why shouldn’t they? It reportedly captures particles such as pollen, smoke, dust mite debris and pet dander from the air that passes through the filter.

Here’s something else that’s pretty neat at the 3M site. They have a Clean Air Club and you can test your knowledge of indoor air quality with the Clean Air Fact or Fiction test. Did you know that bamboo is considered a natural air filter? I never knew that, but it makes me want to buy a lot of bamboo for my house. Okay, well good luck with getting your air cleaned up and please, wish me the same with mine. Ah… ah… AH-CHOO!

*This post brought to you by MomCentral.

Welcome to Legoland, where The Boy asked me, “Why is everything made out of Legos?”

Mind the Sith Lord

Legoland is ele-fun! (how much dorkier can I be?)

Flamingoes! Lego Flamingoes!

The Sydney Opera House

George Washington gets an ear cleaning…

And now for my favorite part of Legoland, the Lego Cities! A fully constructed Las Vegas strip, New York skyline, San Francisco Bay, and yes, New Orleans too:

The French Quarter

A Jazz Funeral

The Cathedral

A Mardi Gras Parade

And no trip to New Orleans is complete without…

Wizard-dressed people standing on corners with their arms spread out to emphasize the coming Apocalypse…

Someone getting arrested…

And someone else videotaping it.

Legoland.

Wow.

(this post contributed to Thursday 13)

Seventh grade softball. I was never really a strong athlete, but I stuck it out in grade school through basketball, volleyball, and softball. I was somehow under the notion that sports was something everyone was supposed to do. At my small school, tryouts amounted to little more than “show up and you’re on the team.” I spent two years as second baseman and two years as a catcher. I could catch decently, and I could hit the ball well, but the truth is, I was always scared and nervous. Scared about getting hit by the ball, scared of dropping the ball at a pivotal moment, scared of striking out. And all of those things happened at one time or another. Like I said, I wasn’t a strong athlete.

But there were moments. My famous double play when I would catch a power grounder, tag out the girl running from first to second base, then throw the ball to the first baseman to get the hitter out. There were a few fly ball catches that ended some particularly long innings, not to mention some foul ball catches that got the batters out.

And then, there was the homerun.

I have no exciting play-by-play account where it was the bottom of the ninth with bases loaded, blah blah blah, only Mighty Casey DIDN’T strike out. Oh no. Our team probably lost the game (I can’t remember, but my school was a perennial loser when it came to softball). I hit a line drive that flew past the first baseman and right fielder and I ran faster than I have ever run in my whole life (you wouldn’t believe it now, but I used to be a fast runner). It made the whole season of mistakes, tears, and fears worth it, the glory of that one homerun, replete with high fives, cheers, smiles, and a standing ovation in the bleachers.

Doesn’t every kid deserve a chance at that? At overcoming nerves and playing ball?

Frosted Flakes rolled out a program called Earn Your Stripes, where they scoured the country looking for youth sports fields that needed renovation. Out of thousands of nominations from some 700,000+ people, they have narrowed the choices to 100 finalists – 100 fields that need new equipment or have uneven ground or inadequate grass. Stop by and check out the fields, and vote on the one you want to see renovated (votes must be in by May 31). You never know what kid out there is biting their fingernails and sweating and fretting or eagerly anticipating their chance to get on that field and shine, waiting for the play that will linger on in their memory years later, the moment when they were the star.

It was the end of a long day. Husband left before the kids woke up and it was almost 9pm. The kids were in the shower. I opened the door, announced “time’s up” and turned the water off.

“Mommy, something is wrong with my CD player!”

Wha…?

Little No Limit brought her plastic pink and purple Disney Princess storybook CD player into the shower with her. Well, yeah, it doesn’t work anymore. Upon learning that she had broken it by taking it into the shower, she dissolved into a mass of tears and anguishing cries.

“It’s broooooookennnnnnnn…”

I had no interest in dealing with this breakdown, and with as little irritability as possible, said, “This is why you’re supposed to ask Mommy before you bring a toy into the shower.”

“You have to fix it!” she demands. (Oh yes, demands)

“I will dry it out, but I doubt it will work. I’m sure it’s broken.”

More tears. More cries. OH, THE HORROR!

Meanwhile, The Boy is hopping on the bed, naked, waiting for his lotion and telling me his bottom hurts (he had a nasty spill on his skates earlier).

So I’m looking for his lotion, Little No Limit is crying, The Boy is jumping on the bed, saying “my bottom hurts” (x100) and I’m thinking to myself, ENOUGH.

When…

Husbands gets home.

Now, when Husband gets home, there is always a skirmish. Since the kids hadn’t seen him at all that day, there was a MAJOR skirmish.

Little No Limit’s tears went from the status of an at-home water gun to Disney Spectacular Waterworks Display. The Boy jumped up and down for hugs and piggy back rides (I thought his bottom hurt?) while trying to cram his mouth (full of freshly-brushed teeth) with roasted pumpkin seeds, which Husband brought home for them.

Here is the soundtrack to my hallway:

DADDY DADDY DADDY DADDY
PRIZE PRIZE PRIZE PRIZE
I BROKE IT BROKE IT BROKE IT
YOU HAVE TO FIX IT FIX IT FIX IT
SEEDS SEEDS SEEDS SEEDS

I looked at this hallway of naked children and tired Husband and again, thought to myself (while imagining banging my head against the wall), ENOUGH.

When…

An earthquake happens.

Given the circumstances surrounding our last earthquake, I’m starting to think that my stress levels have a direct proportional relationship with tectonic shifts.

ENOUGH!

See more pix at 5 Minutes for Special Needs.

I used to want to be an actress. I used to read plays for fun. I used to memorize them and perform all the roles for fun too. I’m a big fan of Theatre of the Absurd. I never really pursued theatre the way I thought I would once I got older. I went to a couple auditions, got too nervous, screwed up, and called it quits. Maybe one day, I’ll return. Painted Maypole is inspiring on that front. In the meantime, I’ll always have memories of the many shows I have attended and continue to attend. Here are thirteen of them.

1. Always Patsy Cline
All Patsy Cline songs. How can you go wrong?

2. Old Wicked Songs
I thought to myself, will I really enjoy a two-man play about music, life, politics, and Nazis? The answer was yes. And it also turned me into a lover of Robert Schumann’s Dichterliebe.

3. Wicked
It’s not a whole lot like the book, but it sure has fantastic music. For real.

4. Kiss of the Spider Woman
One of my all-time favorite musicals. Dark yet dandy. Political yet pretty. If Chita Rivera’s unearthly voice on the original Broadway recording doesn’t make you want to go see it, well… I say to you good day.

5. Little Shop of Horrors
I still can’t believe that the stage version I saw of this was a high school production. It was that phenomenal. Both the guy who did the voice of Audrey II and the gal who played Audrey were high school seniors and I truly hope they both made it Broadway because everyone deserves to hear them sing.

6. Les Miserables
I’ve seen this musical three times live and could watch it a hundred times more. I even watch all the YouTube videos of it. But I still haven’t read the book…

7. Phantom of the Opera
This musical is toeing the line of “overated” but I love it anyway. The movie, not so much.

8. Rent
I saw this one front and center at Nederlander Theatre with tickets my friend and I won from the box office raffle they always held before the show. Oh yes. I did. *Incredible* (My love of this musical notwithstanding, I laughed quite a bit at Team America’s send up of it.)

9. Bring in ‘da Noise Bring in ‘da Funk
The history of Black America told through toe-tapping music. Cry. Dance. Repeat. Enjoy.

10. The Producers
I saw this show at the Pantages with Martin Short and Jason Alexander, and while I’m sure the original cast was amazing, this version was pretty darn funny too. I actually prefer the musical to the original movie. Never saw the musical-turned-movie.

11. Lion King
A feast for the eyes. I can’t wait for it to show up around here again so I can take the kids to see it.

12. Man of La Mancha
Who doesn’t want to dream the impossible dream?

13. Brighton Beach Memoirs
Neil Simon is so talented, so hilarious. Every one of his plays, and movies based on his plays, are great. This performance I saw of Brighton Beach Memoirs was so all-time because the guy who played Eugene was just so perfectly Eugene. And those fantasies about his cousin… oy vey.

This post contributed to Thursday 13.

The Boy’s Mother’s Day portrait of me:

He also filled out this questionnaire about me:

His teacher said to me, “We were all wondering, ‘is she really 44?’”