The Little Key to My Heart

Written by Riley on February 21, 2009 in: Family, Musings | Tags: , , , , , , ,

The clavicle is a little bone in the shoulder area. It’s also called the collar bone.

The clavicle is the easiest bone in your whole body to break.

The clavicle comes from the Latin clavicula for “little key.”

The clavicle in the Boy’s body is fractured.

***

“Mommy!”

No one likes to hear this cry in the middle of the night. I stumbled into his bedroom and discovered that somewhere between sweet dreams and good morning, The Boy had rolled off his bed. He was crying rather fiercely, but I attributed the cries more to the confused arousal from sleep than actual physical pain. I swept him off the floor, gave him a kiss, and told him to go back to sleep. He did.

The next morning, he complained of pain in his neck/shoulder area. I figured stiff neck or some type of muscle spasm and gave him a hot wrap until he left for school. I sent an email to the teacher and asked that she not let him participate in PE. She told me after school that he was so uncomfortable, she wound up telling him to lie down and rest for the latter half of the school day.

He spent the rest of the afternoon and evening in mild discomfort. I patiently administered kisses and hugs and all the frozen blueberries his heart desired instead of accomplishing anything on my To Do list (but hey, I usually ignore it for lesser reasons than this) and hoped he would be fine by morning.

Morning arrived, and pain was clearly still in-house. He cried to move, he cried to change, he cried in the bath. Husband, the man who never wants to go to the doctor, suggested we take The Boy in for a visit.

***

I take The Boy into the examination room where we have been so many times for eczema outbreaks he knows immediately that I will be reading Curious George to him. That George, calling the fire department, escaping from prison, and flying away with balloons. He so crazy.

Good Doc comes in, I brief her on the situation, and she says, “I bet he fractured his clavicle.” She touches him here and there until her prodding produces the six-year-old exclamation she’s looking for: “Ouch!”

She nods again. “Yeah, the clavicle.”

She puts him in a sling and sends me to the imaging center, where I excite The Boy with the idea of “cameras that take pictures of bones!”

The X-rays are taken and the doctors concur: yes, a clavicle fracture. The Boy is so awed by the X-rays they make photocopies for him as a parting gift.

I hold the black and white paper in my hands, these pictures of his bones. I have another stack of black and white copied pictures of him. His sonograms. Over six years ago, I spent hours gazing at blurred images of a head, a heart, a footprint. Whenever I looked at them, I felt incredibly aware of his life inside me, his movements, his kicks. I look at his x-rays now, and six years later, I’m still aware of that kick in my side, that extra flutter in my heart. He’s grown so much, but he’s still so fragile. Just like me.

We show up to school late, and I walk him to class. Just before we reach it, he lets go of my hand and says he doesn’t need to hold it. “You don’t need to come in,” he says, but he does give me a big hug. I watch from the doorway and he enters his classroom, arm in a sling, brandishing the x-ray copies, saying “these are my bones.” There are oohs and aahs.

He goes to class with a fractured clavicle and gets himself some street cred.

I go home with a fractured heart and get myself some mom cred.

***

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Cavenders and Boots

Written by Riley on in: Product reviews | Tags: , , ,

“What can you tell me about boot shopping?”

This was the question I asked so many people when I was preparing for a writing workshop a couple years ago. It was a weeklong workshop that involved horseback riding into the heart of Canyon de Chelly and camping for a week with a Navajo outrigger crew and a dozen other artists and instructors. It was a fabulous trip, one that still inspires me to this day, but among the things I’m glad not to relive was trying to figure out the shoes.

I’d never been horseback riding. I didn’t know how to pick out appropriate boots/riding boots. I wound up doing some online searching and nosing around and finally found a pair of Ariat riding boots that doubled as hiking books. They worked wonders for the trip. They were also cute, and my friend swore up and down that I should wear them all the time, but I didn’t want to wear down the sole.

In addition to those Ariat riding boots, another remnant of that trip is my soft spot for western wear. I love looking at boots and Western-style apparel and accessories. I call it channeling my inner Dolly Parton. I recently came across this website, Cavenders, that has ample supplies of both, and lots of men’s work boots too.

So after all this online browsing, I can now appropriately answer that Facebook question on what would I do with a million dollars…

I dig these:





13 Bromances

Written by Riley on February 19, 2009 in: Movies | Tags: , , , ,

Bromance?

What is a bromance exactly? It’s defined on Urban Dictionary as the complicated love and affection between two heterosexual men, but I think any tight relationship between men will also suffice, complications notwithstanding. I just finished watching Pineapple Express, and its reviews have had the term bromance thrown around a lot, so in honor of the amusement that is Pineapple Express, here’s 13 bromances (other lists of 13 here):

1. Pineapple Express – James Franco, guys, James Franco. I already liked him from his Harry Osbourne/Green Goblin stint but his role as the pot dealer who loves his bubby is not only utterly hilarious but an exact replica of my friend’s college boyfriend. Ah, memories.

2. Swingers – frankly, I hated this movie, except for the opening “Double Down” sequence, but I acknowledge that it belongs on a bromance list.

3. 25th Hour – I initially had Rounders on my bromance list but decided to replace it with 25th Hour since I can only put so many Edward Norton movies on one list. I view the bromance between Edward Norton and his two friends as an interesting take on the long term friendship, the equivalent of the college friends you always wondered about how/why they became friends only to discover that they met when they lived together in the dorms. There are certain things that bring people together, and it’s interesting to see them looking out for each other to the very end.

4. Top Gun – I know, I know, Take My Breath Away, Kelly McGillis, You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feeling… you’d think this was a regular ‘ol romance, but as Quentin Tarantino puts it so eloquently at the end of Sleep With Me, Top Gun is about the dudes.

5. Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle – Not only a movie about friendship between two guys, but Neil Patrick Harris at his finest. Also the only movie I’ve ever seen where two guys ride a cheetah.

6. Superbad – Here’s a bromance between two high school boys (and kind of between those two cops and McLovin) on a crazy adventure to bring alcohol to a party to impress two certain girls. I think this movie may have been too built up for me because I was expecting something much more spectacular than what I saw, though I admit to laughing at every scene involving McLovin and the “These Eyes” singing sequence (side story: I went to The Guess Who concert at Boomtown casino in New Orleans because my friend won tickets on a radio show that asked the question, “What is Homer Simpson’s middle name?” – it was my first trip to a casino and I won $75 on a slot machine). I just don’t feel the need to buy this movie and watch it over and over, which is my ultimate determination for what brings a movie from good to great.

7. City Slickers – This is a movie overflowing with bromance. Jack Palance and Billy Crystal, Billy Crystal and his friends, the ice cream guys, and, I don’t know, something about being out in the wild. Can you imagine the jokes if this movie had come out after Brokeback Mountain?

8. Flight of the Conchords – I know this isn’t a movie, but one can wish.

9. Tenacious D and the Pick of Destiny – Total bromance, TOTAL BROMANCE. Also, a Guitarance, which is something that occurs daily in my house.

10. Several Will Ferrell flicks, in order of Most Bromantic to Least Bromantic: Stepbrothers, Night at the Roxbury, Talladega Nights, Anchorman, and Old School. And my most oft-quoted phrases from these movies, respective to the previous list: “fancy sauce”; “EMILIOOOOOOOOO!”; “Shake and bake!”; “I’m kind of a big deal”; “We’re going to Home Depot, maybe Bed Bath and Beyond.”

11. Tropic Thunder, and pretty much all other war movies – I find war movies all converge towards creating one big Bromance, because they’re often about the relationships between men that develop when they’re at war. A better example of a war movie bromance would probably have been Gallipoli with Mel Gibson and Mark Lee or the 1930 film, All Quiet on the Western Front. I choose Tropic Thunder mainly because it’s the latest one I’ve seen and (clearly) most ridiculous. I think the only other funny war movies I’ve seen are MASH and Life is Beautiful (really, how many war comedies are out there?).

12. Highlander: Endgame – yes, of course I have to include this movie. Duncan! Connor! Together! (For a while, sniff sniff.)

13. Hot Fuzz – So if you enjoyed Shaun of the Dead, you’ll probably like Hot Fuzz, a buddy cop film about a tough cop and a cop who emulates the heroes of Bad Boys II and Point Break. If that isn’t enough, they encounter strange things afoot in their little town and it turns out to be problems of the occult kind. ‘Nuff said.

So there’s my list. I considered adding The Hustler in place of one of the others because I just watched it the other night and after getting over the fact that Piper Laurie creeps me out as a young and beautiful drunk cripple as much as she creeps me out as an older Bible thumping freak mom in Carrie, I decided there was a lot to be said about Paul Newman’s relationship with his original partner in crime that he kicks to the curbside halfway through the movie. But it seemed just too ridiculous to have The Hustler on a list that also included Harold and Kumar, even for me…

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Homework

Written by Riley on February 18, 2009 in: Musings | Tags:

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More pix at Wordless Wednesday, MomDot, and 5 Minutes for Special Needs.

Words from the Wee Ones

Written by Riley on February 17, 2009 in: Family | Tags: , , , ,

The other day, the kids were folding the laundry in the bedroom and ran to me in the kitchen, laughing hysterically, holding my underwear. They asked me, “Who’s big underwear is this?”

In other news, I’m adding squats to my exercise regimen.

Oh. And I’m also creating an exercise regimen.

***

Little No Limit and I were cooking scrambled eggs this morning. She enjoys most of the egg-cooking responsibilties, “Me crack the eggs!” “Me stir the eggs!” “Me pour the eggs!”

I stand around and supervise, and when the eggs are poured into the pan, I hover about anxiously saying “Watch the fire!” and “Don’t touch the pan!”

Today, she was demanding more responsiblity, saying she wanted to scoop the cooked eggs off the pan and onto the plate, but the problem with her doing this is that she is more likely to miss the plate and scoop the eggs onto the range top, which is, by most people’s standards, not clean. When I did not allow her to scoop off the cooked eggs, and instead performed the action myself, she declared, “Mommy, I said ME do that — and you’re NOT me!”

Thanks for the clarification.

***

The Boy’s 100th day of school is tomorrow and his teacher sent home a note saying he needed to bring in a collection of 100 things. I asked him what he would like to bring a hundred of to school, and he said, “Can I have one hundred dollars?”

You and me both, Buddy. Now take your box of 100 paper clips and be happy.

NetSmartz

Written by Riley on February 16, 2009 in: Family, Product reviews | Tags: , ,

I was looking at the MySpace profile of a friend’s teenage daughter and I found myself outraged at the pictures some of her friends used. These are 14-16 year old girls posting photos of themselves wearing bikinis and posing like Victoria Secret models. It was more than a little disconcerting. How do these kids’ parents sleep at night? I have trouble sleeping at night worrying about these kids.

My children don’t know much more on the computer than how to decorate the Gingerbread Man on Starfall and help Dora save the mermaids, but the time will come when they will have their own blogs and social network profiles and probably something I haven’t even heard about yet. I guess I better start teaching them now how to exercise caution on the personal details they share, unlike our trips to the grocery store where my daughter introduces us to everyone we encounter (this is my mommy, this is my kitty, this is our shopping cart…).

The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children offers a website, NetSmartz.org, to teach children how to be careful on the internet, and recently rolled out NSTeens. NSTeens incorporates graphic art to emphasize the importance of not giving out too much personal info online, and for anyone out there with teen and pre-teen kids, you might check out ths NSTeens website, and maybe, just maybe, get a couple extra worry-free hours of sleep at night (yeah, right).

Websites:
NSTeens
NetSmartz.org
NetSmartz Kids
National Center for Missing and Exploited Children

Abe Lincoln’s Log Cabin

Happy President’s Day!

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See other artwork by children at Magic Marker Monday.

Once in a Lifetime

Written by Riley on February 14, 2009 in: Family, Musings | Tags: , , , , , ,

It is the early evening and I’m sitting in a lit kitchen while the rest of the house is dark. Everyone is napping. There is little noise except the occasional dog scratch (they’re suffering from a frustrating round of flea bites). This sound of the quiet house unnerves me. I feel restless and unreal, like the part in Talking Heads’ “Once in a Lifetime” when he says “And you may ask yourself, well, how did I get here?”

I’ve taken to walking the dogs at night (because I run into fewer small dogs who bark thereby causing my dogs to yank on the leash – one of these days, I swear they’re going to dislocate my shoulder or something). I always bring along my trusty little SanDisk clip and listen to music while I walk because without music, every little sound startles me on dark corners. This particular Talking Heads song came on the other night and I found myself grooving to it, which is probably why it is popping into my head right now.

I’m thinking of the lines “And you may tell yourself, this is not my beautiful house / And you may tell yourself, this is not my beautiful wife” and I feel like calling up David Byrne and saying, “Yeah.”

Did you ever find yourself thinking you live too blessed a life? Some people might look at my life and say, girl, you SO don’t have it too good, because, yeah, we’ve got our share of financial woes going on right now. But there’s also some really exciting things going on (I still can’t bring myself to talk about it), and then there’s the fact that Husband and I have each other, we have amazing, thriving children, we have wonderful [albeit crazy and food-thieving] dogs, and we have friends and family out the wazoo. And to me, that’s having things good. Today being Valentine’s Day and all, I think I’ll just bask in this moment of a quiet empty, house and appreciate everything there is to love about my life.

I hear roller skates in the hallway. The Boy is up. He is in the kitchen now asking for water. Little No Limit just followed him into the kitchen rubbing her eyes. Little No Limit just reached down and bear hugged Her Name is Rio causing a scurrying of paws on the tile. I guess I’d better stop typing. Life in the house of Riley is noisy again, full of life… same as it ever was… same as it ever was…

When Dogs Hear Things

Written by Riley on February 11, 2009 in: Dogs | Tags:

What happens when there’s an unaccounted for sound in my house:

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What was that? My Doggy Sense tells me something is going on outside!

Bark bark bark bark!!!
Growl… growl…
Woof!

Me: Um, seriously, dog—you need to stop.

And why am I so cold to her finely attuned senses? Well, let’s see. Her Name is Rio went a little berserk just today, barking and growling, until I finally opened the door to the backyard. She ran out and started barking at this:
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A dead palm frond has fallen off the tree.

You go get ‘em girl, you show that palm frond who’s boss! You’re the dog! You’re the one in charge! Alpha Dog! Alpha Dog! Hoo-rah!!!!!!

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Wake me when a real problem comes up.

Tacky Postcard Tuesday: Statues

Written by Riley on February 10, 2009 in: Musings | Tags: , ,

Tacky Postcards:

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On the back of the card: “The real PEDRO!” “…you’ll find this pseudo-Confederate/Mexican all over SOUTH of the BORDER…” “OLE! COME SI, COME STAY!”
Must stop reading… too ridiculous…

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The Wright Brothers, memorialized here in their infamous “let’s see who can go longer without blinking” contest.

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Pull my finger!

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“their famous citizen” but they’re not quite sure why – he was either a little boy lost or he peed to save the city, ah, “their famous citizen”

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Is it just me, or is this postcard laden with phallic images?

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