All Rileyed Up

(My apologies to anyone who read the title of this post and automatically assumed it was going to be about the presidential election.)

In anticipation of Thanksgiving, Electrolux and Kelly Ripa are on a Quest for the Perfect Turkey. If you visit Electrolux Appliances and click on Kelly Confidential, you can log in and join the quest. Among other things, they’ve asked us to share our best Turkey Tale, in our medium of choice: photo, story, video. All Turkey Tale-Tellers who submit before November 14th will be entered for a chance to win an Electrolux wall oven or range with the Perfect Turkey™ button, which means, yes, you no longer have to fret on T-Day. (The Perfect Turkey™ button from Electrolux uses a temperature probe to precisely control cooking, along with a convection system that gently browns the turkey while sealing in the juices)

Here’s my contribution to the Thanksgiving legacy:

When Husband and I moved into our first home together, it was shortly before Thanksgiving. He was selling the houses in the neighborhood and therefore knew all of our neighbors. He knew that a few of them had no plans for Thanksgiving because their family lived elsewhere, and that is how we wound up having two sets of neighbors to our house for our first Thanksgiving, in addition to his brother and sisters and parents and significant others.

I’d never really cooked a big meal before, and now I found myself cooking Thanksgiving dinner for seventeen people.

I was determined to dazzle and impress and would not be daunted by my lack of cooking experience. I’d cooked a whole chicken, once, for some kids I babysat. Surely, that meant I could handle Thanksgiving dinner.

I prepared several days in advance, buying ingredients, deciding when to make what. I started off by serving wine and homemade bread that rocked the house. The rest of the meal went slightly off-kilter. The vegetable casserole was heavy on the cream of mushroom soup. The garlic roasted mashed potatoes had garlic that wasn’t so well-roasted. The fresh cranberries had too much vinegar and not enough sugar. The pumpkin cheesecake was, frankly, disgusting. And our pièce de résistance, the turkey, was cooked for however many hours UPSIDE-DOWN. I honestly have no idea how I managed to do that. I mean, really, what part of me thought, yeah, that’s how it’s supposed to look, but I did it. Of course, the turkey was still edible as was everything else, so all’s well that ends well. And thank goodness I make a mean sweet potato soufflé. That’s the only dish I contribute to Thanksgiving these days.

Anyone care to venture a guess as to what thought is going through Notorious F.O.X.’s mind?

This is a sink:

This is a sink on CLR:

Any questions?

Yeah, I got one. You a filthy, disgusting slob.

That’s not a question.

Why are you smiling like that?

I think I inhaled too much CLR. Whee!

(This post contributed to 5 Minutes for Mom’s Tackle-It Tuesday)

October is Breast Cancer Awareness month which for Artistic Hair in Orange, CA means it’s time for their annual fund raiser. They offer wash-and-cut hair cuts for $15 a pop with ALL the money, even tips, going to breast cancer research. The Boy enjoyed the hair washing and Little No Limit appeared quite smug with her snazzy sea-themed cape:

While I was with the stylist, I asked her why they do the fund raiser and learned that the salon had lost of their employees to breast cancer several years ago. In the middle of my hair cut, an older woman patted my stylist on the shoulder and said good-bye. The woman looked pleased, but tired. She made quick small talk with my stylist, hugged her, and left. When the stylist returned to my hair, she mentioned that the woman was the mother of the aforementioned employee. It struck right then, how it might feel to lose my own daughter, how it would feel to walk into my daughter’s former place of employment, where, years after her death, they continue to celebrate the life that she had, and support the possibilities for other women like her to continue theirs.

Everybody has their cancer story, whether a personal battle or that of a friend or that of a friend’s friend. There is something very communal about the battle with cancer. Everyone gets involved.

I haven’t really done much for breast cancer awareness month. I’d been wanting to write this post all month, with a list of things one could do to foster awareness, support causes for the cure. There is, of course, the obvious option of making a monetary donation. But with the economy as it is, everyone has pretty light wallets right now. There’s the click to give free mammograms site. It must be doing pretty well because the last few times I tried to click on it, the site was too busy for me to get through. There are scads of breast cancer products, like Kitchen Aid’s Cook for the Cure line (if you choose to buy make-up whose proceeds benefit breast cancer, make sure you’re buying safe make-up). There are walking/running fundraisers.

As for me, I made a donation. And when I attended the Artistic Hair fund raiser, I got more than a little hair trim. It was more to the tune of 14 inches.

Locks of Love is not a breast cancer-specific organization, but what it does is provide real hair wigs to children who have lost their hair from a long-term medical issue.

I showed up at Artistic Hair, ready to part with my locks. This probably doesn’t seem like such a big deal, but the truth is, I’m rather fond of my long hair. I’m much more obliging with my money and time, but my hair? Tell me, though, can you really look at these pictures and think to yourself, nah, I’d rather keep my hair? I couldn’t.

Before:

After:

I received a complimentary copy of Family Fun magazine on one of my many recent trips to the doctor and there was a craft idea in it that like fun:

It was so easy. White shirts, tie dye, rubber bands, and permanent markers. At the end of the activity, your children will have stained fingers and permanent marker everywhere — and great big smiles.

I am often surprised at how many people I have met who have strong opinions on illegal drugs but think nothing of swilling antibiotics for the slightest hint of a cold. Never forget that antibiotics are drugs too. They may be legal and approved by the FDA for use in specific situations, but don’t forget that they are powerful drugs. I haven’t taken antibiotics in over ten years, and I assure you, I wouldn’t have this time if not for the fact that the doctor was very adamant that I would otherwise wind up in the ER. And now, having been on a combination of antibiotics for the past week, I can confidently say I haven’t felt this way since those illicit experimentation days.

Let’s see… loopyheadedness? Nausea? Dizziness? Loss of appetite? Erratic emotions? Check, check, check, check, and CHECK. And I never, EVER, took an illegal drug that made me pee blood-red urine or cry tears tinged scarlet. Tears, people! RED. TEARS. Talk about freaking people out. Too bad I won’t still be taking this come Halloween night. No wait, not too bad. Great. I don’t ever want to take this drug again.

Am I saying don’t take antibiotics? No. My leg is much better, and I have no choice but to admit that all signs point to antibiotics. All I’m saying is Don’t Believe the Hype: ALL drugs are f*cked up, legality notwithstanding.

My Friday Fave Five things about the week are:

1. I am alive. This sounds like something obvious, but I have had some trouble fighting off this MRSA infection and the mere knowledge that I will eventually overcome it is what is keeping me going.

2. Tonight, I am going to be on the Duke Fightmaster show. Whee!

3. I published an article on pumpkin patches in two local papers (you can read the pdf here, on p. 26).

4. I completed reading Pride and Prejudice for the first time. I discussed this with a friend and explained that I read it sitting in the waiting room every day at the doctor’s office and at home, while being forcibly kept off my leg. In other words, INFECTION DRIVES WOMAN TO JANE AUSTEN.

5. I finally returned the SpongeBob SquarePants DVD to Netflix, which means I NEVER HAVE TO WATCH THAT MOVIE AGAIN. Huzzah!

ARGHHHHH. I am so sick of being sick!!!!!

Okay.

Now that I’ve gotten that out of my system, here are pix from Tanaka Farms in Irvine:

Child of the corn.

If he only had a brain.

That first basket is one of the most interesting gourds I have ever seen. They’re called Autumn Wings, and they are bumpy and swan-shaped and all sorts of entertainment for kids. Tanaka Farms sells them 3 for $4. I wish I’d bought more of them.

Cheers to your health!

Yes, on this day, 250 years ago, the man behind the dictionary was born. I hope wherever he is, he’s celebrating his birthday with George and Charles Merriam and Peter Mark Roget, playing the maddest, craziest, most intense game of Scrabble the afterlife has ever seen.

Charles Merriam: Quaffers?

Noah Webster: (Chuckling) Yeah, you like that? Let’s see… that’s double letter score for Q, double word score, and oh yes, 50 extra points for using all my tiles.

Charles Merriam: Pray, tell me what is a quaffer?

Noah Webster: Hello? One who quaffs? As in, I gots to hide my PBR cuz ur mama’s a quaffer?

Peter Mark Roget: Buuuuuuurn!

Word.

A visit to another pumpkin patch, this time at Zoomars petting zoo. They had a hay bale maze and several heirloom varieties, and who can say no to a cat cutout photo op? Certainly not Little No Limit.

Meow.