Now That You’re Not On Your Cell Phone
A new law went into effect here in California that has made it illegal to drive while talking on your handheld cell phone. As much as I hate laws that infringe on my right to make decisions for myself, I’m not too mad about this one. If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s people who talk on their phone while driving (though my number one driving irritant is traffic caused by drivers who slow down to look at an accident on the opposite side of the freeway).
So. To all you cell phone users who are wondering what the heck you’re supposed to do now that you can’t talk on your phone, consider these options:
1. Blinkers. This is what you turn on when you want to move to the right or to the left, instead of just darting over while continuing your phone conversation uninterrupted.
2. Here’s a mind-blower: ten o’clock AND two o’clock. That’s right. You can put both of your hands on the steering wheel now, making that three point turn exactly that.
3. Look at the people in the In-n-Out drive-thru. That’s right—those are people, not mechanical hands. And they’re smiling at you. Now you can smile back, and hey, maybe you can even say thank you.
4. Hey look, there’s your exit! You spotted it a half mile ahead of time and got over appropriately. You DIDN’T have to cut across three lanes to barely make it. Way to go.
5. Hear that? It’s not your friend talking about her mother in law. It’s an ambulance. Stop moving. Pat yourself on the back. You’re now a conscientious driver.
6. Four way stop. Guess who knows who got there first – YOU do, because you weren’t talking.
7. Music. Play your Celine Dion. Loud as you want. Sing along with it. EVERYONE IS WATCHING.
8. Look at the woman waiting to walk on the crosswalk. Look at her cross the street. And look at you, not accidentally running her over because you were too busy talking. Nicely done. Go ahead and treat yourself to making fun of her outfit –does she really think she looks good with those shoes?
9. Merging. This goes to all drivers, not just those on cell phones. Repeat after me: You Go. I Go. You Go. I Go. NOT “I know I can slide in there” and NOT “let’s not let anyone in front of me.”
10. Your kids. They’re in the car with you. Talk to them. Play games with them. They’ll like it. And when they go to school, they’ll say to their teacher, “My mom and I sang Wheels on the Bus” instead of “What’s PMS? My mom told Aunt Susie you have a permanent case of it.”
11. Coffee. When you want to take a sip of your coffee, you can keep one hand on the steering wheel, which means you 1) won’t spill it and 2) you won’t veer into another lane. Isn’t this much better than driving with your knees while talking on the phone and drinking your latte and showing up at work with a brown stain on your thigh?
12. Stick shift. Remember how you always said ‘I can’t drive a stick?’ Now you can. All it really took was a bit more concentration.
13. By the way, that conversation you missed? It wasn’t that important. But if you really think it was, there’s always Bluetooth.
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I once was cut off by a guy making a left turn on red. He was talking on his cell with one hand, holding a soda with his other, and he had a patch over one eye. He was memorable.
Great 13! Too funny because it is all to true!
Enjoyed my first visit to you.
Great 13! Loved it. Thanks for a laugh this afternoon!
Great list, all too true. The WA law took affect the other day so I’ll be interested to see if it changes anything.
that was great! I thought I’d be so sad I couldn’t use my cell phone while driving anymore, but I left it at home the first day and accidentally didn’t charge it the second and I haven’t noticed its absence a bit. I try to be extra careful but I know it’s not good for my driving, so I’m glad I have this law to keep me in line!
oh yeah, and welcome to thursday thirteen!
I did my eighth one this week! (now let’s see if this thing allows html!)
sweet, it did
Yeah, I don’t know who these people are who have conversations that are THAT pressing.
Blinkers! How I love them. If only people would use them the right way. ie, not leave them on for a turn they took two miles earlier, etc.
Love it!!!! What a perfect list
All so true! That is a pet peeve of mine. I like the people who cell phone and smoke while driving for a little punch. Hands? We don’t need no stinkin’ hands.
Cell phone drivers are the worst! We’ve got the new restrictions out here, too, but I haven’t yet seen any improvement on the roads. BTW, I’m new to blogging, and found your site through the Carnival of Family Life. Look forward to visiting when you host!
Loved your list! It’s pretty liberating to talk into the air while driving alone now. No one can tell if I’m having a tremendous conversation with myself or someone else.
Look forward to reading more….
Nice. I was in California in June, and at one point we were following behind a lady on her cell phone that was going slow and swerving. I said, “That’s why they’re not going to let you use cell phones anymore!”
I love your blog tagline, btw. I play a writer online as well!
LOL. That’s too funny! I am definitely with you on the rubbernecking by the way - that is probably my number one irritant too. I get so upset when I finally realize that’s what was causing all of the traffic; I was once backed up almost an hour because someone had lit a flare on the side of the road. So frustrating! Merging and darting ahead to an exit are always huge problems here too. And the ambulance! NO ONE STOPS. I just don’t understand that. Where did these people learn to drive?? At least I’m not alone with the bad drivers in Massacusetts.
[...] readers, not just because of the award, but because of her great take on so many things - including this post on CA drivers who suffer from many of the same problems as MA drivers) gave me the award for a post about my [...]