Domo arigato, Mr. Give-Pot-O.
As a sequel to this post, here are suggested edits to this FOXnews.com article, sent to me by good friend T:
An unsuspecting (lucky or unlucky? only time will tell) passenger who flew through Tokyo’s Narita airport left with $10,000 worth of free marijuana thanks to a forgetful (soon-to-be fired) customs officer (undercover drug trafficker with a solid plan) and a sniffer dog (mangy mutt) with an unreliable nose (ya think?).
The officer stuffed five ounces (is it my imagination or have prices gone up?) of the drug into the side pocket of a randomly selected black suitcase (the bulletproof briefcases were already filled with cocaine) coming off an overseas flight into Narita yesterday so that the dog could get some practice at detecting drugs. (or, as it turns, get some practice at NOT detecting drugs)
“The dog couldn’t find it (he’s since been euthanized) and the officer also forgot which bag he put it in (clearly a case of ‘he sampled the product to determine its potency’),” a customs office spokeswoman (irritated personnel) said. “If by some chance passengers find it in their suitcase, we’re asking them to return it.” (she tried not to laugh as she said this)
The spokeswoman quoted the unnamed (fired) 38-year-old officer as saying: “I knew that using passengers’ bags is prohibited, but I did it because I wanted to improve the sniffer dog’s ability.” (plus, I was high. We later attempted to sneak onto a flight to Amsterdam. I dressed him up with a hat and trench coat. It was funny. Heh. Trench coat. Have you ever seen a dog in a trench coat! Ha!)
He was reprimanded by the head of customs at Narita, Manpei Tanaka, who said: “This case was extremely regrettable. (we were planning on using that marijuana for an upcoming party) I would like to deeply apologize.” (to my drug lord, who now has a couple bounty hunters on my ass for 10 grand. Do you have any idea how much that is in yen!!!!!!)
The marijuana, which has a street value of $9,680, was in a metal box wrapped with newspapers. (The owner of the black suitcase is likely to suspect a bomb. He will later note, it wasn’t A bomb, but DA bomb.) Japan strictly prohibits both hard and soft drugs, (the semi-soft are still acceptable due to certain agreements made with France) with people imprisoned (or given a job with customs) for possession of even small amounts (less than 10,000 yen worth) of marijuana.
Uh, what’s Japanese for “Whoops, my bad”?
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The title of this was enough to send me cackling away from the computer for a few minutes. HAHAHAHA. Genius.
$10,000 for five ounces? You’re right — prices HAVE gone up!
Let’s see: “Aa, warukatta” might work. Or failing that “Iya, ikenakatta,” or simply “Shippai shichatta.” (Sorry — almost no one asks me how to say things in Japanese anymore. I couldn’t resist.)
Funny!
(By the way — WordPress only started allowing me to post on WP blogs two days ago. I still can’t figure out what happened there — no matter what I did, my comments got caught in the spam filter.)
This. Was. Awesome! Why don’t things like that ever happen when I’m stuck in long airport lines? Anything for a good laugh.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hahaha!
I love your edits. Now I won’t worry so much when I try and smuggle stinky cheese into America…I always sweat when the dogs walk by my suitcases.
I was wondering how that box wrapped in newspaper got into my suitcase. I gave it to my mom for Mother’s Day, which suddenly explains the mellowness and rabid munchies….
You are so clever. I really would expect ‘attention to detail’ being a key component to being a successful customs officer. Guess I was wrong.
I’m pretty sure if this happened in Canada it wouldn’t warrant attention — we are a nation of pot heads. On account of all the ‘glaucoma’.