Alien Fresh Jerky… and Elvis
I drove to Vegas over the weekend with Lawyer Girl and the kids. The tacky postcards were slim pickins, but in Baker CA, home of the World’s Biggest Thermometer—
—I stumbled upon an entire treasure chest of tacky, The Alien Fresh Jerky Store:
If you don’t care about the aliens, at least you can pee.
In case you want to visit, you’ll need these helpful postcards:
The all-too-important map to find your jerky. And Area 51.
A picture of what the place looks like (mind the outer space and flying saucer).
You never know who else might drop in.
Unfortunately, the place didn’t have postcards of these things:
The helpful mileage sign outside the store, or
the Make-A-Wish alien next to the aforementioned clean restrooms.
As I mentioned last week, the Elvis recipes are no more. But look who came home from Vegas with me:
Thank you, thank you very much.
Elvis loves being at home with me, though he may start to cause problems with my marriage.
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Alien jerky. Mmm. Galactically delicious.
wanna see the tacky in my half of the country? Three words: Golgotha Fun Park. Google it. I dare ya.
I can’t believe you’re licking Elvis.
Elvis has left Las vegas.
And the Golgotha Fun Park? I did google it - tacky AND scary.
I’m glad I know my way to the Top Secret Area 51 airbase now!
And as there are no clean toilets anywhere in France, I’ll keep that place in mind next time I have to go.
ummm… isn’t the idea of jerky that it doesn’t need to be “fresh?” Why is “Fresh Beef Jerky” a selling point? Why is “beef jerky” a selling point in the first place? Licking elvis? Really?
Soooo many questions
Does Elvis taste like peanut butter, sweat and balogna? That’s what I always picture him tasting like.
So I was going to ask what you wished for from the alien head, but then I saw the picture of you and Elvis and all became clear.
I love this concept. You should archive all the postcards at a single site someday such as the misspelled signs site I cited (peter piper piked . . .) in my blog post a few weeks back. If you linked it on your site, it could be a traffic source . . . of course, who am I to offer advice your technorati rating is like 260 or so. Mine is 20
On Baker . . . I almost accepted a teaching job there in 2003. Sarah wouldn’t hear of it. i guess it’s a nice place to get postcards, but not live!!!
I’ve always asserted that Las Vegas was the Mecca of tacky.
I looked long and hard for tacky postcards during my wanderings. And found none. I guess there are some things that America just does better than other nations. Like pop songs. And sitcoms. And fast foods. And political sex scandals. And George Clooney.
Ooh… love the alien jerky! How’d it taste?