Little Beauties
My Darling Daughter,
If you would like for me to curl your hair in big rollers and wash you in Aqua Net and spray tan you and make you wear bathings suits and tight clothing and fake teeth and demand you do dance routines while yelling the instructions at you as though I should be saying “dance little monkey!” and then not comfort you when you cry over the fact that you lost and won’t get to wear the extra large plastic tiara that could give the Pope and Abraham Lincoln combined a run for their money in added height, then please, allow me to put you in an upcoming beauty pageant.
With high hopes for future therapy sessions,
Your Dedicated Mother
(This post brought to you by the Little Beauties of VH1, and the letter K, as in Special K, as in I wish I had had some to make it through this show. And I’m not talking about the cereal.)
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Kiddie Pagent Moms and Hockey Dads - have so much in common. Hence, my boys will be the only boys in Canada forbidden to play hockey. I am just that evil.
Actually, AD, my boy isn’t allowed to play hockey either. So they can start a no-hockey club of just sitting around, resenting their parents.
Yikes. Ghastly.
Wow. I can’t decide if the description on the VH-1 site is serious. “…reveals the humor and love behind this American tradition”?
Scary.
Someone recently asked me if I would consider entering Rooster in a pageant and I was so excited to pull out my SUPA-SNEAR. “No.”
Why does this stuff never fail to shock me?
Oh god. Little Beauties frighten me. Tan 4 year olds with beehive hairdos and the gay coach on the side screaming at them to smile harder….
scary.
Amen, amen!!