My Day Has Come
I just received this today. It made it through my spam filter and actually came through to my regular inbox. So it MUST be for reals, right?
FROM THE DESK OF VONARBURG CHRISTOPH
STANDARD CHARTERED BANK
PARIS-FRANCE.
Dear Sir/Madam (I LIKE TO GO FOR THOSE PERSONAL TOUCHES),
After my official enquiry from the chambers of commerce & industry
Office (THE COMPLETE YAHOO ADDRESS LIST) in
your country, I decided to email you but I did not disclose the
intention to
anyone else because of the delicate nature of the project.
(IF YOU TELL EVERYONE ELSE, THEN THEY WON’T FALL FOR IT EITHER)
I found your profile (ON MYSPACE) very interesting and decided to contact you
directly (BUT NOT OVER THE PHONE BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE TOO DIRECT)
through this private email to solicit (RIP YOU OFF) for your assistance (MONEY) and
guidelines (SIGNATURE) in
making a business investment and transfer of US$25,500,000.00 Million (CUE THE DR. EVIL LAUGH)
United
Stated Dollars to your country within the next few days being that
this
funds (I DON’T SPEAK ENGLISH SO GOOD) has been left unclaim (SEE WHAT I MEAN?) from one of our customers a long time ago (IF BY “CUSTOMERS” YOU UNDERSTAND ME TO MEAN “NO ONE” AND BY “A LONG TIME AGO” YOU UNDERSTAND ME TO MEAN “NEVER”)
and
they account has been in domant (I DON’T PRONOUNCE MY ‘R’ SO WHY SHOULD I INCLUDE IT IN THE SPELLING?) for years now. I contacted you to come
and
act as the owner of this account thereby getting it reactivated so that
we
can the fund transfered into your bank account for purpose of
investment to
our mutual benefit. (MUTUAL, AS IN “ALL ABOUT ME”) For your help ,This deal is on 50-50% basis
immediately
fund gets into your bank account. (I HAVE TROUBLE UNDERSTANDING THE ENGLISH EQUIVALENT OF 50/50 – IT MEANS I GET EVERYTHING AND YOU GET NOTHING, RIGHT?)
I presently work as a Senior Accounts Director, Offshore Mortgage &
Services (SADOMS = SMODAS = SUPER-MEGA ORATORIAL DEGENERATE AND SHYSTER)
with the above bank in France but at this moment, I am constrained to
issue
more details (BECAUSE THEN YOU MIGHT SEE THROUGH THE LIES) about this highly profitable business investment (SCAM) until I
get
your response by email.(PROOF OF GULLIBLILIY) Please take out a moment of your very busy
schedule
today (I SAW YOUR CALENDAR ON MYSPACE) to respond back to my private email (ASSOCIATED WITH NO REAL PERSON) below for more details.
Kind Regards, (PLEASE SEND MONEY ASAP)
MR .VONARBURG CHRISTOPH
Snr. Accounts Director, Offshore Mortgage & Services
Private Email: grubbybastard at yahoo dot com
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I can’t even begin to tell you how funny your blog is, I find myself chuckling out loud! Such a funny writer and I will love your honesty! Keep Writing, So I can Keep chuckling!
He can use “constrained” correctly in a sentence but can’t figure out “this unclaim funds” or how to spell dormant?
I hate spam. I wish there was a way to get out of it without making it a personal crusade because of how much time it would take to do so.
Over here from The Draft.
I’m not entirely sure why my brain is making this connection, but I have the strongest feeling that Mr. Vonarburg Christoph might be an associate of Art VanDeLay!
Don’t you wonder if those emails ever work? They must or folks wouldn’t send them out, I suppose.
But I’m trying to figure out the logic that people who fall for it use - Sure, I believe that I can get something for nothing. Lots of it. Or is it, Gee, I am a pretty lucky person. I found that four leaf clover in 6th grade.
I just honestly want to know.
Eerily enough, I got a similar letter, only it was from a Sgt. in the Army. Wanting help to move millions of dollars from Iraq.