All Rileyed Up

I like to be me. And part of being me is having catchphrases. I love catchphrases. Like theme songs and novelty neckties, I think everyone should have some. I may not have coined all my catchphrases, but I certainly like to use them. My bloggy friend Angel has hers. These are mine, including definitions. I’ve also written example sentences, all inspired by the birthday party I attended today, which featured the now-requisite child’s party bounce house.

“Suck”
Definition: to be lame
eg: Bounce houses suck.

“That’s how I roll/I don’t roll like that”
Definition: declaration of who I am
Eg: I’m not getting a bounce house for The Boy’s birthday because that’s how I roll.
Eg: Several people have suggested I get a bounce house for The Boy’s birthday, but I don’t roll like that.

“Like crack cocaine for kids.”
Definition: As dubious as this honor is, I believe I made this phrase up. Used to describe things that kids are incomprehensibly drawn to over and over and over…
Eg: Along with Baby Einstein videos and Chuck E. Cheese, bounce houses are like crack cocaine for kids.

“Inevitably”
Definition: Why does it always come to this?
Eg: Inevitably, I have to enter the bounce house to get my kids out.

“Marginally Unattractive”
Definition: Not fine-looking.
Eg: When I leave a bounce house, I find I have more bruises than when I entered it, making me marginally unattractive.

“Equal Opportunity Offender”
Definition: a person who makes fun of everything.
Eg: Being an equal opportunity offender is a fine line to walk, and when you cross the line—like, say, Mel Gibson—you should be confined to a bounce house for an indeterminate length of time.

“Beyotch/Bizotch”
Definition: bitch, but more fun to say
Eg. You might think I’m a beyotch for making fun of my friend’s bounce house, but you would be wrong. You’re the bizotch. And your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberry.

“I’m with you there, hombre.”
Definition: Emphasizes wholehearted agreement.
Eg: You think bounce houses are a product of the devil? I’m with you there, hombre.

“Dick Cheney style”
Definition: Big time. Made this one up too (Husband gets partial credit).
**Etymology: A while back, there was a news clip of Bush and Cheney talking, and, not knowing they could be overheard, Bush referred to a reporter as an asshole and Cheney responded with ‘big time.’ This led to a long running joke between me and Husband where whenever one of us wanted to say “big time,” we instead said, “Like Dick Cheney said.” Over the months, this evolved into the much shorter and concise “Dick Cheney style.”
Eg: Bounce houses cost too much, take up too much space, and are not safe. Overall, I think they suck, Dick Cheney style.

“WHOOPITY-DOO!” (spin finger in air while saying it)
Definition: big deal, as in reference to Adam Sandler in the Wedding Singer, at his first wedding singing job after his fiancé left him at the altar.
**For the record, I didn’t really want to include any movie quotes because my movie quoting quantifies its own post, but I feel this particular phrase has left the movie quoting world and become my own. People enjoy my use of it whether or not they recognize it from the film.
Eg: Yeah, I’m making fun of my friend’s decision to rent a bounce house. WHOOPITY DOO! She’s welcome to make fun of me for not renting one. I’ll even make fun of myself for hating them. I’m an equal opportunity offender. That’s how I roll.

P.S. I know that some of my catchphrases are actually just words rather than phrases. WHOOPITY-DOO!