Top O’ The Morning to You
If you don’t already have a Halloween costume, here are a few Halloween costume suggestions culled at the party I attended Saturday night. My friend J (she has two daughters) and I went to a costume party while our husbands stayed at J’s house with all four kids. Hooray for nice husbands!
J and I went as spring holidays, she the Easter Bunny and I, a leprechaun. These costumes could also work as the Trix bunny and the Lucky Charms guy, but we didn’t get around to buying the cereal boxes, so we just stuck to the holidays.
Easter Bunny costume: bunny ears, whiskers painted on, a white springy dress, with a pastel pink shirt beneath it, and she carried around an easter basket filled with carrots (easter eggs would have been better, but we didn’t have any).
Leprechaun: I wore a big green hat, a green suit (that I already owned, thank you), which I cuffed below my knees. I added a pair of white knee high socks and big black shoes (Mary Jane Doc Martens—clearly, a grunge Leprechaun). On my shoes, I taped gold paper with gold glitter glued to it (say that five times fast). On my face, I painted a shamrock and I wore a lovely green eyeliner from Sephora that I highly recommend even when it’s not Halloween. I had originally intended to carry around a pot of gold chocolate coins, but I didn’t get around to stopping by the store, so then I was going to paint a rainbow and a pot of gold on my other cheek, but after my attempt with the shamrock, J and I agreed it was best to let the face painting go.
It reminded me of the time when I was Pocahontas at a birthday party and the parents had a face painting kit. Now, I didn’t know how to face paint then either, but I figured, how hard can it be? Heh. One kid wanted to be a shark, so I dabbed the gray coloring and went to work. My finished product looked more like a gravestone than a shark. So I added a dash of red to it and told him the shark had just eaten fresh kill so there was blood on his mouth. His reaction? “Cool!” Then EVERY kid wanted the bloody mouth shark on their face. Oh yeah. I was a real hit with the parents at that party.
But back to my Saturday night party tomfoolery (ballyhoo! Irish words! Yea!).
I’d have to say, the luck o’ the Irish was certainly with me that night. First, there was the good doctor (he wore an operating smock with the words “Dr. Feel Good” written on the back). He ‘accidentally’ fell on me while I was sitting on the couch and spilled beer on my left leg. If I had brought a shillelagh, I’d have hit him with it.
Then there was the girl wearing my award for Most Clever Costume—Partly Cloudy with a Chance of Rain (she had on a blue shirt with cottons balls glued to it and carried around a spritzer bottle that said ‘rain’ – her husband wore a poncho and one of those umbrella hats). She poured a good ¾ of her margarita on my right leg a few minutes after Dr. Feel Good didn’t feel so good. She was the poor girl who unfortunately became “The One Who Got Sick.” Honestly, I don’t really mind that either of them spilled drinks on me seeing as I’m the girl who, at my high school reunion, knocked over a bottle of beer on the girl sitting next to me no less than three times (she was surprisingly understanding about it). It was just that I had to drive home, and there was no way I could do that when I smelled like a high school throw down and was dressed like a Leprechaun.
In addition to the beer spillage, I also managed to get a Velveeta-y concoction on the lapel of my jacket. Perhaps I was channeling my daughter’s approach to food and revelry.
Mmm, this is good.
Mmm, this is so good, I just might have to lick the plate.
Should I do it? I dunno. Is it rude?
Baby, I’m a hedon.
Other notable costumes included the hostess of the party who dressed up as SuperGirl but thought she was Wonder Woman (you can imagine my deep concern at how one could make such a mistake). Her husband was dressed as Batman and his shenanigans at the party would have made an excellent home movie called “Batman does the Grind.”
A couple showed up as Dog the Bounty Hunter and his wife, Beth. Unfortunately, I asked if they were supposed to be Anna Nicole Smith and Ted Nugent. I don’t know, I’ve never seen that Bounty Hunter show. I hope they weren’t insulted. And, as with all parties, there’s always someone who shows up in the Creative Political Costume: a couple wearing black suits and nametags, one reading “Rep Mark Foley” and one just simply reading “Page.” They brought their dog with them, who wore a T-shirt that had index cards taped to it, each of which had a separate IM message along the lines of “How big R U?” Good stuff.
The winner for the weirdest costume of the night, however, goes to Batman’s father, who was dressed as an angel. Gold dress, wings, blonde wig with a halo. Yes, nice angel costume. But then, for reasons unbeknownst to anyone, he pulled a stocking over his face, cut out the eye and mouth holes, and then painted BRIGHT RED lipstick on his mouth over the stocking. This resulted in him looking like Leatherface dressed as an angel. I don’t know what this means. I just know, I’m a scared of it, and it takes a lot to scare a Leprechaun.
