All Rileyed Up

Dedicated to I.Heart.Vivaglam –

Monday.

Today, I went to the grocery store with a pre-written list of items and bought everything needed for the whole family to eat at home for the next week. It gave me a nice feeling of accomplishment.

Tuesday.

I realized this morning I forgot to buy coffee yesterday, and wound up with a massive headache. The kids pulled out the eggs to eat for breakfast and dropped them on the floor and while I was cleaning that up, they poured the entire new box of cheerios into the dog bowl. I pointed to the bowl of apples on the table and asked them to each please sit down and eat an apple at the table, so they couldn’t do any more damage while I cleaned out the dog bowls. When I was done, I discovered that they had taken one bite out of every apple. So I went to the grocery store and bought coffee, eggs, cheerios, and apples.

Wednesday.

I was getting stuff out of the fridge to cook breakfast and then stepped on the demo button of my son’s keyboard, which had been left on the floor. It loudly blared out Grand Old Flag in that electronic sound that unnerves me, and out of shock, I dropped the eggs. Only half of them broke, but I decided to go to the grocery store and pick up more. Since I had extra eggs, I made a goat cheese and sun dried tomato quiche for dinner. It was so good. I’m so full now.

Thursday.

I’ve been up all night throwing up. I think the quiche made me sick. I went to the store for some Pepto Bismol and Gatorade. They were all out of those special shopping carts that have toy cars attached to them, and my kids were running wild all over the store. I finally got them to calm down by bribing them with a box of Nutri-Grain bars.

Friday.

Okay, I bought this preservative free bread on Monday because it sounded so healthy and the stupid loaf is already covered in mold. I also found a chewed up plastic bag in the backyard, which is all that remains of the sliced deli meat. I don’t know when the dogs got a hold of it, but I suspect they have learned to open the fridge when I am not home. I went to the grocery store to buy more bread, and the bagged lettuce was on sale, so I got one of those too.

Saturday.

I forgot there was a reason I don’t buy bagged lettuce. I haven’t even opened it, and the lettuce leaves are already sticking together, and it just looks gross. The expiration date is tomorrow, and I don’t know if I can return it once it’s past the date, so I went to the store today. It was so crowded and I stood in the longest line to get a refund of $2.83. I was so irritated by the crowd at the store, I decided to get a coffee. I used my $2.83 refund at the Starbucks inside the grocery store. The girl who was working behind the counter must have been new because she had to remake my drink twice before getting it right. By this time, I decided I didn’t want to be in the grocery store anymore and left. I dropped my coffee in the parking lot when I was rooting through my bag looking for my car keys. I hate going to the grocery store.