All Rileyed Up

Sometimes I think that if I had to choose between an ear of corn or making love to a woman, I’d choose the corn. Not that I wouldn’t love to have a final roll in the hay—I am a man yet, and some things never die—but the thought of those sweet kernels bursting between my teeth sure sets my mouth to watering. It’s fantasy, I know that. Neither will happen. I just like to weigh the options, as though I were standing in front of Solomon: a final roll in the hay or an ear of corn. What a wonderful dilemma. Sometimes I substitute an apple for the corn.

The above paragraph is taken from chapter one of Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen. The book is quirky and funny, demented and tragic. Such is the circus life, I guess.

I read this book for my book club and tonight is the meeting. I skimmed over the suggested discussion questions at the end of the book and in one of them, Ms. Gruen says she incorporated Jacob’s story from the Bible. Yikes! I did not see that coming. In fact, I was a total lidiot (my own made up word: literary idiot, the reader who JUST DIDN’T GET IT), saying to myself, well, his name is Jacob I can see that connection. But what else?

After giving it more thought, I have come up with these:

There’s the woman Jacob loves, Marlena. You could make the argument that Uncle Al is a sort of Laban, extracting unpaid work from Jacob, although there’s no promise of anyone’s hand in marriage. Also, what does that make August?

Jacob’s ladder. In Water for Elephants, the ladder is important to life on a circus train (as well as bootleg liquor, hey hey). The ladders enable one to jump atop train cars and move from one to another, which happens from time to time when you’re on a train as often as these fine folks. Maybe the circus people are like the angels ascending and descending the ladder.

If Jacob’s Ladder is to signify the Jewish exiles, then you might say the ladder of a circus train is symbolic of the exiles of the circus performers, like Kinko/Walter, who has nowhere else to go because his mother sold him. And really, one might consider the whole circus an exile, given the multiple occasions on which they are run out of town.

Jacob’s Ladder leads from earth to heaven, and since the circus train ladder leads from inside the stock cars to atop them, maybe that means both heaven and earth are the circus train? For these circus performer, life takes place, essentially, on the train. The train only stopped to put on the show, so when they were off the train, they were working to set up, put on, and take down the show. So earth is the insides of the stock cars, these people’s homes and livelihoods. Heaven is looking upon the train from atop the roof, like when Jacob Jankowski ascends the ladder:

I climb to the roof. He moves over and when I sit down next to him he claps a hand on my shoulder. “Turn around. I want you to see something.”
He points down the length of the train. It stretches behind us like a giant snake, the linked cars jiggling and bending as it rounds a curve.
“It’s a beautiful sight, isn’t it, Jacob?” says August.

In the case of the circus performers, I tend to think that heaven could well be the view of the train from above, because it is a home and employment during the Depression when both were scarce.

Camel. Well, the name alone works with the stretching muscle. There were camels in the Bible, right? Camel also has the problem of having done something bad that he hasn’t forgiven himself for, and though we never do find out if Camel’s family forgave him, we know they were willing to take him back. All that forgiveness talks seemed to have “Biblical imagery” written all over it.

I think the best parallel to Biblical Jacob comes when Jacob Jankowski realizes that it is up to him to protect the circus animals from the treatment they receive under Uncle Al and August:
I am their shepherd, their protector. And it’s more than a duty. It’s a covenant with my father. While I realize that Jacob is referring to his biological father, I think it’s safe to assume this sentence is meant to carry more meaning than just that.

We’ll see how it goes tonight at the book club meeting. In case I’m totally amiss with my interpretation, I’m bringing a copy of one of the books of circus photos that inspired Sara Gruen to write the book. “Wild, Weird, and Wonderful: The American Circus as Seen by F.W. Glasier.” I had to drive to not-my-usual library to check it out. Extra effort like that should count for something, right?

All I know is, parallel to Biblical Jacob? If she says so.

Good read? Definitely.

This weekend, I will be attending a high school production of Guys and Dolls in which my friend’s daughter is performing. She has taken on the role of Miss Adelaide, the little lady with the big voice (and a nasty cold, achoo!). Miss Adelaide (she stays in character, like all good actresses) is a graduating senior and eager to take on the rigors and excitement of college life, where she will focus on the performing arts.

Whenever I meet someone who is about to enter college, I get so excited for them, mainly because the word college remind me of my own college years — and that, my friends, is a fine chunk of memories.

I hope my own children will one day experience college, but of course, am wondering about how they will pay for their college. I do have college savings accounts for them, but I also believe they should earn  scholarships to cover the majority of their college education. I earned a full scholarship that covered tuition and a dorm room for four years when I earned my Bachelors degree, and I think all children should play a hand in their college expenses, whether by earning a scholarship or grant, doing work study, or saving up some of their own money. I much preferred the scholarship route to my Bachelors than the loans I took out for my teaching credential and Masters degree. Fortunately, I received one small scholarship, and was also eligible for the APLE and TEACH Grant programs so my loans aren’t as high as they could have been.

What are APLE and TEACH, you ask? Do a little research to find out (you might just find even more free money)! Websites like ScholarshipsOnline.org offer a database of all sorts of scholarships and grants, and if I’d had more wherewithal and less immediate need to get back into school for my credential, I’d have spent some time researching grants so I had no outstanding loans at this point.

As it is, I can still use the website because when the time comes for me to pursue my doctorate, I’m going to want a financial boost to help cover the spending I will undoubtedly accrue in my research of the causal link between poverty and learning disabilities. Until that time comes, though, I hope all of your current college-bound kids take the time to look up some scholarships. You’d be amazed what’s out there.

Click on either image to see a full size image (provided you have a Java plug-in).

Today’s blog post has been taken over by me, Notorious F.O.X.

Is that all you got?

Riley took us for our walk this morning and there were lots of other dogs roaming the neighborhood—as if it was their sidewalk, and not MINE. All I wanted to do was show those other dogs the business end of my magnum, and Riley wouldn’t let me! No biting, no attacking… she even yelled at Her Name is Rio for barking at them. Ha. We showed her. When she stooped down to pick up one of our messes, I yanked the leash so hard Riley lost her balance and her hand went STRAIGHT INTO THE POOP!!!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! YA HEARD!!!!!!!

I felt satisfaction… but not enough. Consequently, I have taken over her blog. I’m not so much into the writing, but Her Name is Rio wrote a poem. I always knew she was a weirdo–

“There’s Another Dog”
By Her Name is Rio

Please walk a little faster…
THERE’S ANOTHER DOG!!!!!!

I don’t care if your arm is coming out of the socket…
THERE’S ANOTHER DOG!!!!!

Can we please please go to the park…
THERE’S ANOTHER DOG!!!!!

Who left this puddle in my patch of pee grass…
THERE’S ANOTHER DOG!!!!!

Why are you pulling so hard on the leash?
THERE’S ANOTHER DOG!!!!!

A DOG!
A DOG!
A DOG!

SET ME FREE! I MUST KILL THEM!!!!!!
(I added in that last line. Peace out—Notorious.)

Did you ever attend summer camp? Did you ever regret summer camp?

In Robin Hemley nonfiction work, DO-OVER!, he writes “Our whole lives we struggle with our personal sense of failure,” he writes. “To the outside world, our failures are strangers, but to us, they’re our closest intimates, closer than friends, children, spouses, parents; nourished from an early age, they may become so strong that they overcome us.” His personal failures as a child have come to haunt him as a child, and as a 48-year-old, he does something few people dare to do: he requests a do-over. His book is rife with stories of his adult attempts to repeat moments from his childhood that he wish had gone differently. One such moment was summer camp.

Many people, like Hemley, consider the term summer camp synonymous with bad Jell-O concoctions and no friends, but nowadays, you don’t have to feel that way. There are plenty of groups and websites designed to help you pick out the right sleepaway camp, so that you can be exited to go, excited to be there, and disappointed to go home, because it was so darn fun.

Tips on Trips and Camps is one such service provider. They categorize camps by age group and interest and are described by one testimonial as having provided all the right activities at the right price within minutes. Not to shabby, eh? If finding a camp online or over the phone isn’t your favorite way to communicate, no worries, Tips on Trips and Camps also sponsors Camp Fairs in several major cities, including Brussels and Paris. Talk about classy…

As for me, my own son is currently looking into robot-themed camps while my daughter wants to attend something with a crafts focus. Wish me luck!

I am perusing the goods over at Become.com, which is a shopping site where you look for items and the site finds said items all over the Internets and lists them for you in easy price comparison form. They also provide some articles on current trends, curiosities, interests, etc… I feel that based on the information in their 2012 fashion trends, my current look has graduated from slightly outdated to horribly un-trendy. I’m sorry, but I just can’t make giant feather embellishment look good. I also can’t make much of anything else on their trendy fashion pics look good because I am neither tiny nor am I Puck from Midsummer Night’s Dream. Fashion concerns aside, Become has enlightened me to a few other things. For example, I had NO IDEA how many options a buyer had for an outdoor snowman. Props to the light-up collegiate snowman. Nothing says Go ALABAMA like snowmen!

The website does live up to its claim of finding good prices on linen sets, though, so if you’re in need of oversized bedspreads, particularly the oversized king bedspread, you could feasibly score on something. As for me, I liked the Regal Empire Grand Bedspread King. Mind you don’t get carried away reminiscing about your Grandma’s guest bedroom while you’re looking over the bedspreads. Some of them are dead ringers in my nostalgia department.

In addition to home goods and fashion finds, the website also has categories for sale prices, kitchen items, garden and outdoor supplies, and electronics. Finally, a place that doesn’t judge my Highlander obsession.

Become.com. Go. Enjoy. Become.

**This post brought to you by the good people of Become.com**

A repost in remembrance of the Notorious F.O.X.–

You might have heard any of these remarks over the course of my visit with the vet today:

1. Looks like Riley is headed for the vet’s office with both dogs and both kids. She’s overdue for that rabies vac. I’m thinking she might run into some trouble if any dogs show up from opposing teams.

2. Then we’re definitely in for some excitement. Not only are there two poodles in the waiting room, there’s two more jumped up dogs lingering around the exam rooms! I predict lots of barking in the near future.

3. Just listen to all that noise in the lobby! Those dogs are going wild!

4. Heh, heh, those aren’t just dogs. It seems Little No Limit wants to eat the dog biscuits. Kind of reminds me of that water bowl incident of 2005.

5. What’s that they’re saying to Riley? Two emergencies are taking up all the exam rooms? Looks like more time on the bench

6. Uh oh, some bad news coming for Riley. Notorious F.O.X. might have ringworm! That does explain that thing on Riley’s neck that she thought was a pimple that wasn’t going away.

7. Okay, things are looking better. Her Name is Rio is finishing off her visit. Nothing wrong with her but a little tartar on the teeth, which comes as no shock to Riley who doesn’t even own a dog toothbrush.

8. Heck, she doesn’t even enforce daily tooth brushing with her kids. Nobody’s thinking she’s brushing the dog’s teeth.

9. Hey, looks like the office is presenting her with a bill for $282. 75. Riley does not look happy. I hope she knows that next week, she’s going to get hit with late fees on those dog license renewals.

10. That’ll teach her to procrastinate. Things are wrapping up now. Another typical visit to the vet for Riley–wait… wait… what’s going on here? The Boy is throwing Riley for a loop! What’s that he’s saying? Potty? How is she going to manage this one? She can’t bring Notorious F.O.X. back into the office because she has ringworm, but she can’t leave the dogs outside either! This could be good.

11. I don’t believe it. She is telling The Boy to wait and he couldn’t be more angry! I have seen it all!

12. Actually, no. The vet office has offered to hold the dogs outside while Riley takes The Boy in. What a lucky break.

13. I tell you what – this has been one eventful trip to the vet. Riley got thrown a ton of curve balls, and she still came out calm enough that when she left, the vet assistant said, “You are so patient. I mean that. In fact, you’re my idol.”

And that’s the game.

When I was younger, there was a boy at my church with cerebral palsy. He was very well spoken and nice, and he used a wheelchair. His family drove a huge van in order to transport their son wherever they went. Naturally, I thought of him when I heard about National Mobility Awareness Month.

In just a couple days, May will be here and with its flowers comes National Mobility Awareness Month. National Mobility Awareness Month fosters awareness for people who require special forms of transportation, such as Richard Devylder, a man born with no arms or legs. The first time I watched a video about a day in the life of Richard Devylder, I was astonished and inspired by his amazing spirit and endurance. Not to mention the fact that he goes swimming every single day. He is living proof that anyone can rise above their life situation, and no disability is a true measurement of future success and independence in life.

While Devylder seems to thrive on public transportation, some people who use wheelchairs for mobility prefer the use of handicap accessible vans and
handicap minivans in order to help them get from point A to point B. Companies like Mobility Works provide these types of adaptive vehicles. Their adaptive vehicles, for sale and rental, come with slides, ramps, extra space, swivel seats, even robots. And exactly what do these robots do, you ask? Well, they put and pull the wheelchair in and out of the car as needed. Life in this century is an amazing glimpse into the wonders of technology, isn’t it?

Mobility Works also maintains a blog with relevant news information pieces, and there is currently a contest to draw the Google Doodle for National Mobility Awareness Month, so check it out!

Are you nodding your head along now and jamming out, having read the title of this post? If I even hear the word “sign,” that song starts to play itself in some part of my brain. Hence, I had the urge (and followed through to) Google the video by Tesla after reviewing the website Safety Sign.

The good people of Safety Sign can help you out with all your Traffic Signs, wash your hands signs, no parking zone signs, and all that good stuff. Seriously. I often wondered where you could get custom-made signs, like the sign at Six Flags on the bridge standing over the giant splash ride that says, “If you stand on this bridge, you will get wet!” Kidding aside, my school alone actually has and uses all of the signs featured on their homepage. Last year alone, my school had need to order new restroom signs for three different restroom facilities, a Caution: Slippery When Wet floor stand for when we have to mop up a spill, and three Handicapped parking spot signs. Our school was, needless to say, going through some renovations. In fact, Husband and I wound up taking home the wood that was torn out of the building because he uses so much reclaimed wood in his work projects. We’ve been joking that he ought to have his own sign that says “Will Take Your Wood.”

I live in a rural area, and we’re pretty low on Street Signs. Giving direction is like sending people on a short tour of the natural wonders of the area — turn left at the big rock, go right when you see the red mailbox, if you pass the oak tree that got struck by lightning, you need to make a U-turn because you went too far. Really, a couple street signs would come in handy. Of course, we’d probably need about four street signs per location because every road has about three different names. In fact, I read an article not too long ago that California is notorious for having too many honorary street names that few people even know about, in favor of referring to the various thoroughfares by their highway or interstate number. We’ve also been looking to get a sign that explains that used toilet paper needs to be flushed down the toilet. Believe it or not, younger students struggle with this action.

While browsing around their Road Signs, I noticed their evacuation route signs. It’s important to have good evacuation route signs. In Dana Point, California, they have Tsunami evacuation route signs, and one of my favorites is the one next to the beach with the arrow pointing in the opposite direction. Duh.

**This post inspired by Safety Signs. And Tesla. Who were originally inspired by Five Man Electrical Band.